Showing posts with label making up with my ex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label making up with my ex. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Five Steps to Get Back Together With Your Ex Without A War

After a breakup has taken place, it's very common for at least one of the parties to want to win back the other. It may seem like a difficult task, depending on the circumstances, but in general, you can follow five rules to get back together with your ex.

1. Bring your focus back to yourself. You're probably so consumed with how you can get your ex back, you've forgotten to do one of the most essential things in order to increase your chances. You've got to take care of yourself. Make sure that you are eating right, exercising and getting enough sleep. Take time to go out with friends and family. Join new activities. Do what you need to do to restore your inner balance and to keep your mind off your ex for a while. This will increase your self-confidence and self-esteem and make you more attractive.

2. Let your "new" self be revealed. If you've done the first step right, you are now feeling better both inside and out. In reality, the "new you" is really probably at least partly the "old you" that was hidden because of the emotional stress you took on during the breakup. It's important to remember that change is a part of life and plays a role in any relationship as well. When you embrace change, rather than fighting it off, you can reach your goals much faster and with fewer obstacles.

3. Be flexible. If you haven't yet learned this, you need to compromise in any relationship and compromising is a key that could determine whether you will get back together with your ex or not. If you don't have a willingness to compromise, you have a tough road ahead of you in any situation.

4. Forgive. Some people find this difficult because they are convinced that the other person is to blame. In relationships, both partners contribute to a break-up. Even when one person cheats on the other, while the person who has been cheated on is not necessarily to blame, there are some reasons that led the other person to cheat. Or if he/she is just unfaithful by nature, then you should not be trying to work out a relationship anyway. Maybe you are the person who did the cheating. In this case, you hope that the other person can forgive you and you also should forgive yourself in order to move on. Because the fact of the matter is, you cannot change the past. Putting the past into perspective when you deal with forgiveness is important. Remember that forgiving is not the same thing as forgetting. Remembering your mistakes can allow you to prevent them from happening in the future.


5. Develop a plan to get back together with your ex. You can do this on your own or with the help of a counselor or friend.

Monday, January 18, 2010

I Want My Ex Back Now

I want my ex back now is a common refrain and one that is thankfully easily remedied. Most of us have broken up at some point with our partners over something very silly. Perhaps we lost our temper or we got into a silly argument and now regret it. Thankfully these types of breakups are easy to rectify.

But perhaps you have broken up over something more serious. Perhaps one of you were unfaithful or lied to your partner? These are bigger problems to overcome but they are not necessarily the end of the road. If both of you are happy to make an effort to reconcile, you can get over almost any obstacle. You may need some professional help from a third party. This may take the form of relationship counseling either as a couple or separately. There are some great books on this subject which can be very helpful at putting things into perspective.

The first thing you should do is to arrange a meeting in a public place. If you meet in private you could let your emotions take over and either end up having a huge argument or in bed making love. Of course the second option might be enjoyable but it will not necessarily sort out getting your ex back.

Meeting to discuss your relationship is a chance for you both to air your grievances. This is not a blame game and if you have the idea that you are going to make your ex partner pay for their behavior then do yourself a favor and walk away now. What you want to do is acknowledge that you two have some issues to work through but you want the relationship to work and would like to give it another go.

Having any sort of partnership with someone of the opposite sex takes work and commitment. We are very different in how we think about things and how we communicate. Sometimes we can blow issues out of all proportion and either our pride or our tempers prevent us from discussing our problems like adults and we behave like kids.

If you want your ex back, you will need to convince them that you have something special and worth fighting for. Be prepared for some reservations depending on the original reasons for breaking up. Don't try to make them take you back by making them jealous or playing any other types of games. Games belong in the school yard. Make an effort to look your best. It helps if you wear an outfit that you know your partner likes and finds attractive. Use their favorite scent and cologne as well.

Keep the conversation civil and talk about the great times you have shared and your dreams for the future. It may take a while and more than one meeting but in time you may be back together and no longer saying I want ex back now!