Emotional infidelity may sound like a strange concept but it is real. We are raised to believe that cheating is when you have sexual relations with another person outside of your relationship, but that is not the only way you can cheat.
There is also an emotional affair. An emotional affair is when you share your intimate feelings with someone other then your partner. Do not mistake this for simply having friends or the way you love your kids, it is something entirely different.
Essentially the feelings you have for your partner are what create the emotional backbone for a relationship. But what happens when you have similar feelings for someone else? This is emotional infidelity and it can be just as harmful as a physical affair.
When someone is in a relationship they like to believe that they are the center of their partners universe. They want to believe they are special and that the love for them is not something that can just be passed around.
That is what makes sexual affairs so harmful, it is not just the fact that you were physically intimate with another person. It is that you were emotionally intimate as well. Physical relations are something you share with someone you deeply care about, so to do so with another shows you care for them and this can really hurt your partner.
That is why an emotional affair often leads to a physical one. But even if it never progresses to that level it can still hurt. Nobody wants to feel like they are replaceable or something to be discarded once used.
An emotional affair can start innocent enough. It can be something as simple as getting a good impression from someone and developing that relationship further. The breaking point from when it stops being a normal relationship to something more intimate is when you let your guard down and ignore the boundaries we often set for ourselves.
There are lines that separate people, we place them into different categories. There are friends, family, lovers all of whom you care deeply for but in different ways. The emotional infidelity comes in when you blur the lines between groups. When you start caring for someone as more then just a friend and more as a lover.
It is important to stay within the lines and not to carelessly hand out your love. One of the best ways to determine if you may have crossed the line is to ask yourself a simple question. Do you confide in someone more then your partner?
It is not a clear cut question since there are some secrets you do not want your partner to know. But generally if you share everything with someone other then your partner, this could be a problem. Trust is fundamental for a relationship and if you trust someone more then your partner, it might lead to further problems down the road.
An emotional affair is a tricky business and it is not as clear cut as a physical affair. You just need to try your best not to mix your feelings and ensure that a friend just remains a friend.
Showing posts with label Emotional infidelity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Emotional infidelity. Show all posts
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Emotional Infidelity - Is It Trouble In The Making
We don't live in a bubble. We spend time out in the world with other people and sometimes we make a connection with those other people. This is great, and a wonderful part of life. But it can become emotional infidelity when you are being more intimate with this new person than you are with your partner, even if it isn't sexual. It may be hard to draw the line sometimes but if you find that you are thinking of another person a lot, and not just in a casual way, it may be that you need to assess your own relationship.
It's very common that this type of emotional affair will eventually lead to a sexual relationship. That's one of the main reasons it needs to be nipped in the bud right away. There is no reason to beat yourself up about it just because you happened to meet someone and found that the two of you had an amazing attraction. What you do need to do, however, is to recognize that any type of infidelity is wrong and you need to put a stop to it before it goes any further.
The longer you allow yourself to spend time with this other person, the stronger the attraction will become and the harder it will be to resist temptation, or break things off. If you are sharing things with this new person about your relationship with your spouse, you've crossed a line. It's one thing to confide some things to your friends, but not someone you are attracted to. Doing so will only create bigger problems for you and create an 'unnatural' bond with the new person.
Your spouse is the person you should be sharing these issues with, not someone who you are having feelings for. That is a breach of the trust you and your partner share. By letting this other person in, more and more every time the two of you talk, you are distancing yourself from your partner. If you do that for too long, your main relationship will completely fall apart. And even though you may think that's what you want so you can have the new person, it rarely works out quite so neatly.
It's unbelievably easy to make more out of the time you spend with your new friend. After all, the two of you don't bicker, you don't have any issues with money or how to deal with the kids, etc. The day to day things that can drag us all down aren't shared by the two of you so of course things may seem wonderful. Just remember, they felt that way at first with your spouse too. It's inevitable. But don't confuse that with having found your soul mate. Your soul mate is more than likely the person waiting for you at home.
Emotional infidelity is very often the first step to a full fledged affair. It's very easy to have a connection with someone else, but when that connection seems to take on a life of it's own, you need to pull back before things get so far out of hand that you can't salvage the situation.
It's very common that this type of emotional affair will eventually lead to a sexual relationship. That's one of the main reasons it needs to be nipped in the bud right away. There is no reason to beat yourself up about it just because you happened to meet someone and found that the two of you had an amazing attraction. What you do need to do, however, is to recognize that any type of infidelity is wrong and you need to put a stop to it before it goes any further.
The longer you allow yourself to spend time with this other person, the stronger the attraction will become and the harder it will be to resist temptation, or break things off. If you are sharing things with this new person about your relationship with your spouse, you've crossed a line. It's one thing to confide some things to your friends, but not someone you are attracted to. Doing so will only create bigger problems for you and create an 'unnatural' bond with the new person.
Your spouse is the person you should be sharing these issues with, not someone who you are having feelings for. That is a breach of the trust you and your partner share. By letting this other person in, more and more every time the two of you talk, you are distancing yourself from your partner. If you do that for too long, your main relationship will completely fall apart. And even though you may think that's what you want so you can have the new person, it rarely works out quite so neatly.
It's unbelievably easy to make more out of the time you spend with your new friend. After all, the two of you don't bicker, you don't have any issues with money or how to deal with the kids, etc. The day to day things that can drag us all down aren't shared by the two of you so of course things may seem wonderful. Just remember, they felt that way at first with your spouse too. It's inevitable. But don't confuse that with having found your soul mate. Your soul mate is more than likely the person waiting for you at home.
Emotional infidelity is very often the first step to a full fledged affair. It's very easy to have a connection with someone else, but when that connection seems to take on a life of it's own, you need to pull back before things get so far out of hand that you can't salvage the situation.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Emotional Infidelity What It Is And How To Recognize It
The emotional connection is a deep and integral part of a relationship, which is what makes emotional infidelity so crushing. The true bond in a relationship goes far beyond just physical fidelity; it is a big part of what makes a relationship a relationship. A relationship is about sharing your thoughts, feeling and soul with some other.
Emotional infidelity is when your significant other starts to form those same kinds of bonds with a different person. This almost always goes along with withdrawing from the original relationship.
You go from being your significant other's friend and confidant to being a stranger in your own relationship. This freezing out could be hard to deal with, and might be hard to see. You might feel that the problem is on your end and that you're the one doing something wrong.
At the same time, emotional infidelity involves the other person forming bonds with a different individual outside the marriage. One of the terrible things about emotional infidelity is that it may be hard to define and identify. Because there's nothing as obvious as sleeping with another individual going on, saying for sure that it's going on is trickier to prove.
One big sign is a sexual chemistry between the two people, flirting and teasing one another. It might seem innocent because there is nothing physical going on, but emotional infidelity will cause the person to behave differently.
This is a key point that you need to keep in mind when you suspect emotional infidelity. Everyone has friends; men have their best buddies, women have their girlfriends. A lot of people have close friends of the opposite sex, people with whom they confide much of their lives.
This Is not emotional infidelity, and the big thing to seek is signs of guilt. The big sign that somebody is becoming involved with somebody else on an emotional level is the fact that your significant other feels compelled to hide it. No one hides their relationships with just friends from their significant others. When they are hiding something, it means there's something to hide.
Emotional infidelity is a problem in and of itself, but it tends to be among the early signs of a relationship breaking down. The next step is commonly physical infidelity, and this is almost all of the time preceded by emotional infidelity. If you are able to recognize and do something about emotional infidelity, you might have an easier time than if you catch it at a later stage.
The two big signs are emotional disengagement and secretive behavior. If your significant other is pulling away from you, becoming distance or hostile, this is a big sign. Likewise, if they're acting suspiciously, hiding phone calls and e-mails, avoiding questions and just generally acting like they have a secret, this is a sign.
You need to catch emotional infidelity in its early stages an fix it. This can be hard to do, but if you suspect emotional infidelity in your relationship, then you need to seek out and advice and instruction on how to fix your relationship.
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