This article is about how to effectively communicate with your spouse. Communication is key to keeping the two of you from "growing apart". Do not ever try to keep secrets from one another about anything. This will only undermine all you have worked for over the years.
Everyone has problems in their relationship and the best way to deal with these problems is to maintain the ability to talk to your spouse about what is going on. If there is a problem brewing and you need to get it resolved then map out a time when the two of you can sit down together and talk about it.
There may be a solution to this problem that you cannot see all on your own. So do not try to handle it all on your own. Sometimes we all need the help of someone who has a fresh pair of eyes to objectively look at the situation or come at it from a new angle.
If the problem lies between the two of you then you may need to handle it with kid gloves. Set the time to sit down together but have a nice dinner and some wine to go with it. Ask the Grandparents to watch the kids over night so you will not have any distractions.
Make sure that each of you has a chance to speak. Little misunderstandings can have a big impact on the quality of your relationship. Do not let them wiggle their way in because if they get in they will do nothing but fester and grow bigger into an abscess that will one day burst and then the relationship will be unfixable.
You married each other because you loved each other but in reality that is the easy part. Love is easy, it is the living together day to day and dealing with everything that that entails that gets in the way of that love.
Dealing with the problems as they arise is the best way to keep the communication and trust alive in your relationship. If you let the problems pile up and nothing ever gets resolved then your relationship will not be worth the paper the marriage license is written on.
When the time comes that you have set aside for dealing with problems do not go into it mad and out of control. Nothing will be served by this. Stay calm and cool and get the whole thing out on the table.
Do not lay blame or be insulting. This is as unproductive as it gets, not to mention childish. Remain as adults and figure out the correct course of action to resolve the problem. Spell out the steps if you have to to make sure that you are each on the same page and will work together on a solution.
Never, ever "air your dirty laundry" in front of other people, friends or not. They do not need to hear that you are having trouble in your relationship. You and your spouse have all the power here to make or break your relationship and effective communication is the key.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Your Husband-Lost In The Bad Economy
If your husband was one of the many who lost their jobs in this seriously down-sized economy and seems just to be drifting with no prospects on the horizon and no motivation to go along with it there are things you can do besides getting angry with him.
A man who has lost his job may sometimes think that his manhood is connected with having a job. He has been raised to believe that having a job is paramount to taking care of his family and providing the things that they need on a daily basis. Without a job he feels useless and could be suffering from a little depression.
Even though it is not your fault he lost his job he may start to take how he feels out on you. You can help your husband regain his motivation by being supportive and encouraging him to continue to look for work even if he has to take a lesser job at this point.
Tell the man you love not to be discouraged and that something will come along sooner or later. Be patient with him when he gets down in the dumps and thinks that he has lost your respect and admiration. Tell him repeatedly, if you have to, that he is loved and respected with or without a job.
If there is no job on the horizon, encourage him to explore other options. If he went to college and ended up working at a job he hates then sit down with him and make a list of the things he likes to do to help him see that even if he has to go back to school to learn something else, he can and probably should.
Sometimes losing something we hated to do anyway will open up the door to doing something we love to do and are passionate about, even if it does not pay the same. Wouldn't you rather have a husband who is happy and fulfilled at what he is doing than having him come home in a rotten mood everyday from a job that he hates? I know I would.
With the economy the way it is and no significant improvement in sight, many people have returned to school to either further their education or change careers altogether. There are programs out there that will help with paying for additional schooling.
Ask him if it would be alright for you to call the local community college and set up an appointment to talk to a school counselor to figure out what options are out there. Maybe he followed his father's path into business when what he really wanted to do was landscaping.
Now is the perfect time to go to school and learn all he can about landscaping. Then maybe he could start his own successful business and not have to worry about working for someone else ever again.
Your husband is important to you so instead of ragging at him to find a new job, encourage him to follow his heart and do something he really wants to do.
A man who has lost his job may sometimes think that his manhood is connected with having a job. He has been raised to believe that having a job is paramount to taking care of his family and providing the things that they need on a daily basis. Without a job he feels useless and could be suffering from a little depression.
Even though it is not your fault he lost his job he may start to take how he feels out on you. You can help your husband regain his motivation by being supportive and encouraging him to continue to look for work even if he has to take a lesser job at this point.
Tell the man you love not to be discouraged and that something will come along sooner or later. Be patient with him when he gets down in the dumps and thinks that he has lost your respect and admiration. Tell him repeatedly, if you have to, that he is loved and respected with or without a job.
If there is no job on the horizon, encourage him to explore other options. If he went to college and ended up working at a job he hates then sit down with him and make a list of the things he likes to do to help him see that even if he has to go back to school to learn something else, he can and probably should.
Sometimes losing something we hated to do anyway will open up the door to doing something we love to do and are passionate about, even if it does not pay the same. Wouldn't you rather have a husband who is happy and fulfilled at what he is doing than having him come home in a rotten mood everyday from a job that he hates? I know I would.
With the economy the way it is and no significant improvement in sight, many people have returned to school to either further their education or change careers altogether. There are programs out there that will help with paying for additional schooling.
Ask him if it would be alright for you to call the local community college and set up an appointment to talk to a school counselor to figure out what options are out there. Maybe he followed his father's path into business when what he really wanted to do was landscaping.
Now is the perfect time to go to school and learn all he can about landscaping. Then maybe he could start his own successful business and not have to worry about working for someone else ever again.
Your husband is important to you so instead of ragging at him to find a new job, encourage him to follow his heart and do something he really wants to do.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Get Husband-Now You Have Him But There Is Trouble
Marriage is a wonderful thing that binds two people together. Many marriages last until the day they die, both people living happily throughout. However not all marriages have it so easy. In fact, many marriages have rocky times and end up failing. In a lot of these cases both parties involved would have wanted to save their marriage instead of letting it crash and burn. They want to work to get husband or wife the happiness they deserve.
Even though people often want to salvage their marriage, make it work, so that they can live happily ever after, they are unable to. As much as they want to save it, they simply do not know how. In a lot of instances, it was the very act of trying to save a marriage that doomed it to failure. If you do not want this to happen, there are several tips to help you out.
1. Stay positive. Remaining positive is really important in most things in life, but especially marriage. People can pick up on the vibes you throw out, if you are throwing out negative vibes people with subconsciously pick up on these and it can ruin your marriage. Staying positive allows your spouse to pick up on your positive vibes, thus feeling a little more at ease themselves.
2. Do not be pushy. The worst way for you to get husband or wife to listen to you is to be pushy. You may be eager to save your marriage, but this eagerness can cause you to be impatient and that just annoys your spouse and pushes them farther away. Slow and steady wins the race, if you take it nice and easy you have a much higher chance of success.
3. Communication. Communication is the single most important thing in a marriage. The only way for your spouse to know how you are feeling is if you tell them. If you have a problem, tell them in a polite manner so that the two of you can work it out before it spirals out of control and endangers your marriage.
4. Reminisce about shared memories. Bring up happy moments from your past can be a great mood setter. If you are having a rough time in your marriage, remind both yourself and your spouse of the better times, and remind yourselves that with just a little work you can have those times again.
5. Seek help. Ultimately, if you are unable to get husband or wife to listen, or if you yourself have a problem, you should seek professional help. As much as you may want to save your marriage, sometimes you just can not do it alone. Whether it is your fault or your spouses, the fact remains the same, your marriage is having trouble. So instead of blaming one another, seek out a neutral third party who can help you sort things out.
Marriage counselors are trained to help you both through the tough times by giving you ideas on ways you can strengthen your bond and fix the problems you have.
Even though people often want to salvage their marriage, make it work, so that they can live happily ever after, they are unable to. As much as they want to save it, they simply do not know how. In a lot of instances, it was the very act of trying to save a marriage that doomed it to failure. If you do not want this to happen, there are several tips to help you out.
1. Stay positive. Remaining positive is really important in most things in life, but especially marriage. People can pick up on the vibes you throw out, if you are throwing out negative vibes people with subconsciously pick up on these and it can ruin your marriage. Staying positive allows your spouse to pick up on your positive vibes, thus feeling a little more at ease themselves.
2. Do not be pushy. The worst way for you to get husband or wife to listen to you is to be pushy. You may be eager to save your marriage, but this eagerness can cause you to be impatient and that just annoys your spouse and pushes them farther away. Slow and steady wins the race, if you take it nice and easy you have a much higher chance of success.
3. Communication. Communication is the single most important thing in a marriage. The only way for your spouse to know how you are feeling is if you tell them. If you have a problem, tell them in a polite manner so that the two of you can work it out before it spirals out of control and endangers your marriage.
4. Reminisce about shared memories. Bring up happy moments from your past can be a great mood setter. If you are having a rough time in your marriage, remind both yourself and your spouse of the better times, and remind yourselves that with just a little work you can have those times again.
5. Seek help. Ultimately, if you are unable to get husband or wife to listen, or if you yourself have a problem, you should seek professional help. As much as you may want to save your marriage, sometimes you just can not do it alone. Whether it is your fault or your spouses, the fact remains the same, your marriage is having trouble. So instead of blaming one another, seek out a neutral third party who can help you sort things out.
Marriage counselors are trained to help you both through the tough times by giving you ideas on ways you can strengthen your bond and fix the problems you have.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Your Wants In A Relationship May Be To Much
A relationship is a beautiful thing, so having it fall apart before your very eyes can be a very emotionally difficult experience. As much as it pains us, relationships are formed and broken all the time. There are a lot of reasons for this, but there are always those occasions where our relationship is failing but we want to do everything we can to save it.
It is during these situations that your wants may not be enough to get you through. Knowledge is important, if you do not know how exactly to save your relationship, you will probably fail. Desire is all well and good but without the ability to put that into action, it is ultimately meaningless. To ensure your feelings are not meaningless, there are some tips that can help you in saving your relationship.
1. Keep positive. We can get feelings off each other, people call these vibes. If you are negative, you throw off negative vibes. There may not be some cosmic occurrence because of this, but your partner will pick up on these and feel negative as well. All around, it will help your efforts if you just keep positive.
2. Do not be pushy. While you may be eager to save your relationship, you must always be aware of your partners desires as well. To them, it may seem like you are just being pushy and trying to get your way, which may drive them off.
3. Communicate. Communication is imperative in any relationship. If you do not tell your partner about your wants or problems, how are they going to know? Being able to talk with them can clear up a lot of misunderstandings and make things work more smoothly.
4. Bring back old memories. If your relationship is struggling, reminding both of you about the good times you shared can be a great morale boost. Going out on a date to the place where you had your first date, or going where you first met. These things can help set the tone for your efforts in rebuilding your relationship.
5. Kiss. It should come as no surprise that couples having problems are not as intimate as they once were. This only adds to the problem and drives you further apart. Surprise your partner with a kiss, keep that spark alive.
6. Smile. Smiling is a great way to boost your happiness, as well as your partners. They say laughter is infectious, so make your partner laugh and smile with you. Simple things like this can do wonders for healing a broken relationship.
7. Counseling. If all else fails, and your wants just are not enough, try looking for professional help. Counselors are trained to help you through these rough times and can be a great way to salvage a relationship. Many couples do not want to go to a counselor, feeling it is not of their business, but if you are serious about saving your relationship then you may have to suck it up and get the help the both of you need.
It is during these situations that your wants may not be enough to get you through. Knowledge is important, if you do not know how exactly to save your relationship, you will probably fail. Desire is all well and good but without the ability to put that into action, it is ultimately meaningless. To ensure your feelings are not meaningless, there are some tips that can help you in saving your relationship.
1. Keep positive. We can get feelings off each other, people call these vibes. If you are negative, you throw off negative vibes. There may not be some cosmic occurrence because of this, but your partner will pick up on these and feel negative as well. All around, it will help your efforts if you just keep positive.
2. Do not be pushy. While you may be eager to save your relationship, you must always be aware of your partners desires as well. To them, it may seem like you are just being pushy and trying to get your way, which may drive them off.
3. Communicate. Communication is imperative in any relationship. If you do not tell your partner about your wants or problems, how are they going to know? Being able to talk with them can clear up a lot of misunderstandings and make things work more smoothly.
4. Bring back old memories. If your relationship is struggling, reminding both of you about the good times you shared can be a great morale boost. Going out on a date to the place where you had your first date, or going where you first met. These things can help set the tone for your efforts in rebuilding your relationship.
5. Kiss. It should come as no surprise that couples having problems are not as intimate as they once were. This only adds to the problem and drives you further apart. Surprise your partner with a kiss, keep that spark alive.
6. Smile. Smiling is a great way to boost your happiness, as well as your partners. They say laughter is infectious, so make your partner laugh and smile with you. Simple things like this can do wonders for healing a broken relationship.
7. Counseling. If all else fails, and your wants just are not enough, try looking for professional help. Counselors are trained to help you through these rough times and can be a great way to salvage a relationship. Many couples do not want to go to a counselor, feeling it is not of their business, but if you are serious about saving your relationship then you may have to suck it up and get the help the both of you need.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Relationship A Part Of Life
Relationships mean a lot to people, they allow us to connect and be with those we care about. So when your relationship starts falling apart at the seams, it can be a very traumatic and emotional time. There are a lot of reasons relationship your may end, sometimes they are civil and both parties accept it. Sometimes both parties want to save it, but just can not seem to work it out.
In a lot of relationships both parties want to save it, very much so. But for whatever reason they just can not seem to get it right. For situations like this there are a variety of tips to help you out.
1. Stay positive. Positivity is important when trying to salvage a relationship. People can pick up on vibes and if you are negative, thinking your relationship will fail, your partner will pick up on this negativity and it will lead to that very outcome. Instead, be positive, think about you will pull through this.
2. Do not be pushy. People often times allow themselves to get a tad eager, and this causes problems. You may be eager and willing to try and fix your relationship, but this eagerness can come off as pushiness, and may actually drive your partner away. Fixing your relationship is a slow process, take it easy so you do not break it further.
3. Communicate. The single most important thing in relationship your is for you to communicate. Humans are not mind readers, if you keep your feelings bottled up your partner will never know. You need to make sure to convey any problems or desires you may have so that the two of you can act on that knowledge, fixing problems before they spiral out of control.
4. Bring up the good old times. The place you first met, where you had your first date, memories like these can be a great way to set the tone for your salvaging efforts. Take your partner somewhere you both enjoy and have fond memories about, or bring up stories about how good things were.
5. Be affectionate. During troubled times, couples become increasingly less affectionate towards one another. All this does is make the problem worse. Do your best to keep this from happening. Give your partner a kiss every now and then. It also does not have to be sexual, either. Simply caressing their arms or giving them a hug can be all it takes.
6. Seek counseling. If all else fails, and nothing you do seems to have any effect on relationship your, then you may want to seek out a professional. There seems to be a stigma around going to a counselor, like it spells doom for your relationship. But it is actually the opposite. Counselors are trained and know how to help you salvage your relationship.
Even if it may seem like a waste of time, or you feel your problems are between you and your partner, if you are serious about repairing your relationship you may just want to suck it up and get the help the two of you need.
In a lot of relationships both parties want to save it, very much so. But for whatever reason they just can not seem to get it right. For situations like this there are a variety of tips to help you out.
1. Stay positive. Positivity is important when trying to salvage a relationship. People can pick up on vibes and if you are negative, thinking your relationship will fail, your partner will pick up on this negativity and it will lead to that very outcome. Instead, be positive, think about you will pull through this.
2. Do not be pushy. People often times allow themselves to get a tad eager, and this causes problems. You may be eager and willing to try and fix your relationship, but this eagerness can come off as pushiness, and may actually drive your partner away. Fixing your relationship is a slow process, take it easy so you do not break it further.
3. Communicate. The single most important thing in relationship your is for you to communicate. Humans are not mind readers, if you keep your feelings bottled up your partner will never know. You need to make sure to convey any problems or desires you may have so that the two of you can act on that knowledge, fixing problems before they spiral out of control.
4. Bring up the good old times. The place you first met, where you had your first date, memories like these can be a great way to set the tone for your salvaging efforts. Take your partner somewhere you both enjoy and have fond memories about, or bring up stories about how good things were.
5. Be affectionate. During troubled times, couples become increasingly less affectionate towards one another. All this does is make the problem worse. Do your best to keep this from happening. Give your partner a kiss every now and then. It also does not have to be sexual, either. Simply caressing their arms or giving them a hug can be all it takes.
6. Seek counseling. If all else fails, and nothing you do seems to have any effect on relationship your, then you may want to seek out a professional. There seems to be a stigma around going to a counselor, like it spells doom for your relationship. But it is actually the opposite. Counselors are trained and know how to help you salvage your relationship.
Even if it may seem like a waste of time, or you feel your problems are between you and your partner, if you are serious about repairing your relationship you may just want to suck it up and get the help the two of you need.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Relationships That Crash And Burn
If you find that all the relationships you have had tend to crash and burn, you may be wondering what you can do to increase your chances of finding true love that will last throughout a lifetime.
The truth is that it isn't as hard as you may think it is, it doesn't start with that other person, it starts with you. Weird, huh? But, actually that makes things easier. You have a much better chance of having great relationships if you depend on you and not expect to change anyone else.
So you don't have to go through life trying to find that perfect someone, instead you can make yourself the best version of you that you can be and that makes it easier to find someone who can love you and treat you well.
How you treat yourself and how you expect to be treated is a huge determining factor in finding that perfect person. So many of us have a lot of undiscovered issues. These issues can cause a lot of problems and it's really tough because we don't even know we have these issues.
If you have limiting beliefs about yourself and who you are and what you deserve, than you will on a subconscious level be drawn to those people who will treat you the way you think you should be treated... even if that is badly.
I know this all sounds odd, but it is true. Everything we say and do comes from our subconscious mind. That can be dangerous if we have negative thoughts or feelings in our unconscious mind.
The real problem is that if we don't know those negative thoughts and feelings even exist, how can we combat them? The short answer is that we can't.
Not only can we not move past them if we don't even know they exist we can't possible get rid of them at all until we acknowledge their existence.
So, to have strong interactions in all types of relationships, not just romantic, you must first spend some time figuring out where your weak spots are. Once you've identified your limiting thoughts and beliefs, you will need to find ways to get rid of them.
There are many techniques you can use to get rid of these limiting thoughts and beliefs. Most of them are quick and easy to do. You won't need to invest a lot of time to find effective methods for "clearing" these limiting thoughts and beliefs.
You may be wondering "if it's so easy, why isn't everyone clear of their limiting beliefs and having great relationships?" Well, the reason is that most people have a limiting belief about the existence of limiting beliefs! I know, it's enough to give you a headache isn't it?
But it's true and it is a solid strategy for improving yourself and by doing that, improve your life in many ways.
As long as you are willing to open your mind, and make some changes, you can greatly improve your chances of finding good, long lasting relationships. What else would you really want to have?
The truth is that it isn't as hard as you may think it is, it doesn't start with that other person, it starts with you. Weird, huh? But, actually that makes things easier. You have a much better chance of having great relationships if you depend on you and not expect to change anyone else.
So you don't have to go through life trying to find that perfect someone, instead you can make yourself the best version of you that you can be and that makes it easier to find someone who can love you and treat you well.
How you treat yourself and how you expect to be treated is a huge determining factor in finding that perfect person. So many of us have a lot of undiscovered issues. These issues can cause a lot of problems and it's really tough because we don't even know we have these issues.
If you have limiting beliefs about yourself and who you are and what you deserve, than you will on a subconscious level be drawn to those people who will treat you the way you think you should be treated... even if that is badly.
I know this all sounds odd, but it is true. Everything we say and do comes from our subconscious mind. That can be dangerous if we have negative thoughts or feelings in our unconscious mind.
The real problem is that if we don't know those negative thoughts and feelings even exist, how can we combat them? The short answer is that we can't.
Not only can we not move past them if we don't even know they exist we can't possible get rid of them at all until we acknowledge their existence.
So, to have strong interactions in all types of relationships, not just romantic, you must first spend some time figuring out where your weak spots are. Once you've identified your limiting thoughts and beliefs, you will need to find ways to get rid of them.
There are many techniques you can use to get rid of these limiting thoughts and beliefs. Most of them are quick and easy to do. You won't need to invest a lot of time to find effective methods for "clearing" these limiting thoughts and beliefs.
You may be wondering "if it's so easy, why isn't everyone clear of their limiting beliefs and having great relationships?" Well, the reason is that most people have a limiting belief about the existence of limiting beliefs! I know, it's enough to give you a headache isn't it?
But it's true and it is a solid strategy for improving yourself and by doing that, improve your life in many ways.
As long as you are willing to open your mind, and make some changes, you can greatly improve your chances of finding good, long lasting relationships. What else would you really want to have?
Friday, December 2, 2011
Dating Casual May Be The Answer For You
If you have recently gotten out of relationship that ended badly you may want to think about casual dating for the time being. Relationships can start out exciting and full of fun but as the months and years roll on it can get harder and harder to maintain the good stuff because all the little things creep in and start to bug the crap out of you.
When a relationship ends there has to be some grieving time before you make a plan and start over. You should wait for at least 6 months to a year before venturing back into the dating pool. There are millions of fish in the sea and your "perfect catch" is out there waiting for you.
Use the time you spend by yourself to figure some things out like, what is your part in the break ups you have had? If you can figure this out and find a way to fix you then the next relationship you have will be better for all concerned.
Maybe you have been attracted to men who are dominant and after a while this wears on you and you end up resenting him for being controlling. This may be an insecurity factor on your part. If you always feel like you need someone to control things because you do not trust yourself to make those types of decisions.
Most men like a woman who is strong and confident, but not too confident. They want a woman who is as good in the bedroom as she is in the boardroom. Men also like to be the center of attention, especially when out on a date. They like to have your full attention, not someone who is talking to everyone but him.
Do not bring any drama into his life either, if you have a parent who is overbearing adn wants to know, now that your dating, when you will give her some grandchildren, do not tell him this. He will run away screaming.
If, after the first few dates, the two of you decide to be exclusive he will probably pick going out with you instead of spending time with his buddies. This is only temporary, do not expect it to last. At some point the tables will turn and you will find that he needs his time away from you so he can bond with "the boys".
If you fight him he will feel like you are trying to control him or you are being too possessive, either way you will not win and he will break up with you. Just take things slow and see what direction they are heading. If little things pop up that annoy you, make sure that you communicate this to him and ask him to be open and honest with you about it.
The biggest goal of dating is to find a long term relationship that lasts. The only way this can happen is of there is trust, honesty and openness. Communication is a must, if you start out keeping secrets the there really is no hope for the relationship.
When a relationship ends there has to be some grieving time before you make a plan and start over. You should wait for at least 6 months to a year before venturing back into the dating pool. There are millions of fish in the sea and your "perfect catch" is out there waiting for you.
Use the time you spend by yourself to figure some things out like, what is your part in the break ups you have had? If you can figure this out and find a way to fix you then the next relationship you have will be better for all concerned.
Maybe you have been attracted to men who are dominant and after a while this wears on you and you end up resenting him for being controlling. This may be an insecurity factor on your part. If you always feel like you need someone to control things because you do not trust yourself to make those types of decisions.
Most men like a woman who is strong and confident, but not too confident. They want a woman who is as good in the bedroom as she is in the boardroom. Men also like to be the center of attention, especially when out on a date. They like to have your full attention, not someone who is talking to everyone but him.
Do not bring any drama into his life either, if you have a parent who is overbearing adn wants to know, now that your dating, when you will give her some grandchildren, do not tell him this. He will run away screaming.
If, after the first few dates, the two of you decide to be exclusive he will probably pick going out with you instead of spending time with his buddies. This is only temporary, do not expect it to last. At some point the tables will turn and you will find that he needs his time away from you so he can bond with "the boys".
If you fight him he will feel like you are trying to control him or you are being too possessive, either way you will not win and he will break up with you. Just take things slow and see what direction they are heading. If little things pop up that annoy you, make sure that you communicate this to him and ask him to be open and honest with you about it.
The biggest goal of dating is to find a long term relationship that lasts. The only way this can happen is of there is trust, honesty and openness. Communication is a must, if you start out keeping secrets the there really is no hope for the relationship.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Save Marriage-Advice And Information
One of the scariest, and most painful, times in most peoples lives is when they are faced with the idea that their marriage is in real trouble. At that point the only thing you can think about is finding save marriage advice and information.
That is the reason I wrote this article, in it I will provide you with some simple save marriage advice that you can use right now. I'm not saying it will be easy or that it will work for everyone, I am simply saying that these are common sense tips to help you achieve a better, more balanced relationship with your spouse.
If you follow these tips you just may be able to save your relationship and be happier than you have ever been. If you decide that you don't want to follow one or more of these tips, you will have an uphill climb.
Here we go:
1. Few people have the ability to look at themselves and their partner in an honest objective way. No one wants to face their own issues. For this reason, I highly recommend you find a good counselor.
Now, "good" is the operative word here. I don't care how many degrees a person has or how many people said they were great, if you meet with them and you don't feel comfortable with them, they won't be good for you.
2. Honestly figure out what you want. Most people would immediately say "I want to save my marriage". But do you really? Or, do you really just want a relationship where you feel loved, accepted and happy?
The truth is that in some cases, those things may be mutually exclusive. Sometimes the person you are with will never be able to make you feel the way you really want to feel: love, accepted and happy.
Sorry, I know that is not what you want to hear, but we often simply marry the wrong person.
Sometimes the person we are with will be unable or unwilling (and there can be many reasons for this) to give you the love, respect and happiness that you really crave.
If that is the case, and you are honest enough to yourself to admit it, you can save a lot of time and hurt.
3. Honestly now, is your partner really likely to work on making changes in the way they interact with you (assuming of course that you are willing to make those changes too)?
I know many people who are married to emotional cripples. People who are simply too insecure, too selfish or too afraid to admit that they need to make some changes in the way they behave and the way they treat their spouse.
If that describes your spouse, you may not have much luck saving the marriage. You can't do it all on your own.
I know that some of what I have written may not have been what you wanted to hear, and for that I am sorry. But, the fact is that not all relationships can or should be saved.
It's very important that you enter into this whole process (and it will be a process, there are no quick fixes) with the right mindset and with a realistic idea of what it is your really want whether it is to save marriage, be loved, or ideally, both.
That is the reason I wrote this article, in it I will provide you with some simple save marriage advice that you can use right now. I'm not saying it will be easy or that it will work for everyone, I am simply saying that these are common sense tips to help you achieve a better, more balanced relationship with your spouse.
If you follow these tips you just may be able to save your relationship and be happier than you have ever been. If you decide that you don't want to follow one or more of these tips, you will have an uphill climb.
Here we go:
1. Few people have the ability to look at themselves and their partner in an honest objective way. No one wants to face their own issues. For this reason, I highly recommend you find a good counselor.
Now, "good" is the operative word here. I don't care how many degrees a person has or how many people said they were great, if you meet with them and you don't feel comfortable with them, they won't be good for you.
2. Honestly figure out what you want. Most people would immediately say "I want to save my marriage". But do you really? Or, do you really just want a relationship where you feel loved, accepted and happy?
The truth is that in some cases, those things may be mutually exclusive. Sometimes the person you are with will never be able to make you feel the way you really want to feel: love, accepted and happy.
Sorry, I know that is not what you want to hear, but we often simply marry the wrong person.
Sometimes the person we are with will be unable or unwilling (and there can be many reasons for this) to give you the love, respect and happiness that you really crave.
If that is the case, and you are honest enough to yourself to admit it, you can save a lot of time and hurt.
3. Honestly now, is your partner really likely to work on making changes in the way they interact with you (assuming of course that you are willing to make those changes too)?
I know many people who are married to emotional cripples. People who are simply too insecure, too selfish or too afraid to admit that they need to make some changes in the way they behave and the way they treat their spouse.
If that describes your spouse, you may not have much luck saving the marriage. You can't do it all on your own.
I know that some of what I have written may not have been what you wanted to hear, and for that I am sorry. But, the fact is that not all relationships can or should be saved.
It's very important that you enter into this whole process (and it will be a process, there are no quick fixes) with the right mindset and with a realistic idea of what it is your really want whether it is to save marriage, be loved, or ideally, both.
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