The first thing you need to do if you've lost the love of your life is communicate – with yourself. You need to get clear in your own head on what is really going on by ignoring all the noise. Forget the arguments, forget the fights and just get to the heart of the matter.
You'll have to be brutally honest with yourself here because what you're searching for is the truth. You want to dig past the clutter and the excuses and pinpoint the true reason or reasons your relationship began to go south.
Don't gloss over the little things, because often it is simply a combination of so many little things piled one on top of the other with no one ever going back to apologize and make things right that add up to one seemingly unmovable Big Thing.
Many times these small mountains of little things, too long ignored, make a relationship start to sour. If they keep adding up, things go bad a lot faster. So really think about the life of your relationship, and be honest with yourself about what really happened. What were the core events or words that put a hitch in the smooth turn of the wheel?
Once you've pinpointed all the things you feel are the likely culprits for pushing your relationship to take a turn for the worst, your next step is to communicate with your ex. Let him or her know that you want to sort out all the problems, get them out in the open and talk about them so you can figure out, together, what went wrong in your relationship because you never want to repeat these mistakes again.
Here's a valuable hint to remember during these communications: Discuss does not mean argue. If you can't act like a mature, responsible adult for the duration of a simple, single conversation to help make your relationship better now, how can you possibly expect to have a meaningful, long-term relationship?
So the next step is to find out what he or she thinks started the damage to your relationship. The point is for each of you to know what the other feels caused the relationship to go bad so you both will know exactly what needs working on – by both parties – to fix the relationship.
Next, ask if your partner feels your relationship has a chance, if they are interested (like you) in trying to change things for the better, working together to build a better life together, and then decide if you're both willing and able to do what you now know it will take to make the necessary changes and put the relationship back on track.
Communication is one of the cornerstones of all meaningful relationships. If you haven't been communicating with your partner, that could be one part of the problem. Make sure he or she knows you now understand this and that from here on out, you will definitely want to discuss your problems with each other, as well as possible solutions.
Why? Because by doing this, by communicating openly and honestly with each other about your hopes, fears, expectations and whatnot, both of you will be better equipped to make your relationship much better than it has ever been, to make your relationship the kind that lasts forever.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
Do I Still Love My Ex
Emotions are quite difficult for many people to understand. This is because many emotions and feelings are very personal issues, ones which are not often discussed. So, it is easy to see how a great number of people can be confused about their feelings for their exes. In fact, it is not unusual for someone to wonder, "Do I still love my ex?"--even for months or years after the relationship has ended.
Figuring out your feelings for your ex can help you to move on to new and more successful relationships. Any unresolved emotions dealing with your ex could actually impact your future relationships--and not in a good way. Once you figure out whether or not you still love your ex, you will be able to deal with the issue and then move on from there.
How can you determine what your feelings are for your ex? Take a look at the following questions and think about your answers. Your answers will tell you what you feel for your ex.
• Do you feel a strong desire to see your ex?
If you still love your ex, you likely want to see your ex or talk to your ex on the phone quite often. Perhaps you have called your ex’s voice mail just to hear his or her voice, or maybe you have driven by your ex’s house or place of work in hopes of seeing him or her outside. Or, you may have "accidentally" bumped into your ex at a restaurant or bar.
• How often do you think about your ex?
If you still love your ex, chances are he or she is on your mind constantly. Whenever a love song comes on the radio or whenever you happen to see a romantic scene on the television or in the movies, you immediately think of your ex. When something interesting or upsetting happens in your life, the first person you think to call is your ex.
• How does it feel to think about your ex being with someone else?
If you are still in love with your ex, the thought of him or her being with someone else probably makes you feel very jealous. The very idea of it might make you feel sick inside, or it may make you feel angry at the other person. You may even feel possessive, as if the other person is on your turf, stealing ‘your’ ex.
Have you figured out how you feel about your ex? Did you decide that yes, I still love my ex? It wouldn’t be surprising--most people who wonder about their feelings for their exes do still have some strings attached which need to be addressed.
You need to make a decision--do you want to get back together with your ex or do you want to get over your ex? Think about this carefully, and then do a search for more information on whichever option you choose.
Figuring out your feelings for your ex can help you to move on to new and more successful relationships. Any unresolved emotions dealing with your ex could actually impact your future relationships--and not in a good way. Once you figure out whether or not you still love your ex, you will be able to deal with the issue and then move on from there.
How can you determine what your feelings are for your ex? Take a look at the following questions and think about your answers. Your answers will tell you what you feel for your ex.
• Do you feel a strong desire to see your ex?
If you still love your ex, you likely want to see your ex or talk to your ex on the phone quite often. Perhaps you have called your ex’s voice mail just to hear his or her voice, or maybe you have driven by your ex’s house or place of work in hopes of seeing him or her outside. Or, you may have "accidentally" bumped into your ex at a restaurant or bar.
• How often do you think about your ex?
If you still love your ex, chances are he or she is on your mind constantly. Whenever a love song comes on the radio or whenever you happen to see a romantic scene on the television or in the movies, you immediately think of your ex. When something interesting or upsetting happens in your life, the first person you think to call is your ex.
• How does it feel to think about your ex being with someone else?
If you are still in love with your ex, the thought of him or her being with someone else probably makes you feel very jealous. The very idea of it might make you feel sick inside, or it may make you feel angry at the other person. You may even feel possessive, as if the other person is on your turf, stealing ‘your’ ex.
Have you figured out how you feel about your ex? Did you decide that yes, I still love my ex? It wouldn’t be surprising--most people who wonder about their feelings for their exes do still have some strings attached which need to be addressed.
You need to make a decision--do you want to get back together with your ex or do you want to get over your ex? Think about this carefully, and then do a search for more information on whichever option you choose.
Heartbroken Sayings Can Comfort And Inspire You
Sometimes our own words do not suffice. Finding the right words to truly express how we feel can be difficult, especially if you have been unlucky in love. Using heartbroken sayings can be comforting and help you not feel as alone as you learn how others have coped with loss and have expressed how they feel.
Quotes about heartbreak are numerous and can be quite eloquent or even funny. Here are some notable heartbroken sayings and hopefully they will help you:
- “Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.” – Washington Irving. Coming from the man who wrote the Legend of Sleepy Hollow, this is a surprising sentiment, but it offers a positive spin on unrequited love.
- “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.” – Richard Bach. This is a famous love quote that offers some comfort if you have loved and lost. Setting them free can also be interpreted also as giving them some space rather than your relationship breaking up completely.
- “What is the opposite of two? A lonely me, a lonely you.” - Richard Wilbur. This quote makes a simple but eloquent statement. This makes the point that there were two of you in the relationship, so each of you has suffered the heartbreak of breaking up. This is easy to forget if you only focus on how you are feeling.
- “Sadness flies away on the wings of time.” - Jean de La Fontaine. What you are feeling right now will not last forever even though it may not feel like that now. Make sure to allow yourself time to grieve the loss of a relationship. Moving on too quickly can be more detrimental in the long run.
- “Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.” - Charlie Brown. Leave it to Charles Schultz to describe a feeling so simply. With such a simple statement, we can all understand the sentiment behind the quote easily.
- “Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.” - Author Unknown. While our first instinct is to do everything we can to mend the relationship, sometimes it is better that it ends as that may cause more heartbreak.
- “I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every other part of my body is broken too.” - Missy Altijd. Love lost can affect you in many ways, including feeling pain throughout your body along with the emotional pain. What we project mentally can manifest physically. If you decide to project positivity, it can help ease your pain.
- “Count the garden by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall. Count your life with smiles and not the tears that roll.” - Author Unknown. This is a reminder to count our blessings and while we may be hurting from a break up, we should still value the relationship we lost.
Quotes about heartbreak are numerous and can be quite eloquent or even funny. Here are some notable heartbroken sayings and hopefully they will help you:
- “Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.” – Washington Irving. Coming from the man who wrote the Legend of Sleepy Hollow, this is a surprising sentiment, but it offers a positive spin on unrequited love.
- “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.” – Richard Bach. This is a famous love quote that offers some comfort if you have loved and lost. Setting them free can also be interpreted also as giving them some space rather than your relationship breaking up completely.
- “What is the opposite of two? A lonely me, a lonely you.” - Richard Wilbur. This quote makes a simple but eloquent statement. This makes the point that there were two of you in the relationship, so each of you has suffered the heartbreak of breaking up. This is easy to forget if you only focus on how you are feeling.
- “Sadness flies away on the wings of time.” - Jean de La Fontaine. What you are feeling right now will not last forever even though it may not feel like that now. Make sure to allow yourself time to grieve the loss of a relationship. Moving on too quickly can be more detrimental in the long run.
- “Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.” - Charlie Brown. Leave it to Charles Schultz to describe a feeling so simply. With such a simple statement, we can all understand the sentiment behind the quote easily.
- “Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.” - Author Unknown. While our first instinct is to do everything we can to mend the relationship, sometimes it is better that it ends as that may cause more heartbreak.
- “I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every other part of my body is broken too.” - Missy Altijd. Love lost can affect you in many ways, including feeling pain throughout your body along with the emotional pain. What we project mentally can manifest physically. If you decide to project positivity, it can help ease your pain.
- “Count the garden by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall. Count your life with smiles and not the tears that roll.” - Author Unknown. This is a reminder to count our blessings and while we may be hurting from a break up, we should still value the relationship we lost.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
I Want My Husband Back Some Tips For Reconciliation
If you are separated from your husband physically or emotionally, the thought of the failure of your relationship can be unbearable. You do not want to give up on your marriage, so all you think is I want my husband back. Depending on the extent of the problems between the two of you, reconciliation can be difficult but not impossible.
You may have tried everything that you can think of to get him back to no avail. Here are some other ideas to consider to help you reach your goal of reconciliation.
1. Give him some space. Some men feel limited in their marriage, like they are boxed in. The more limitations he feels are placed on him may make him distant and emotionally unavailable due to this feeling. By having a little freedom to tinker in the garage, watch sports or hang out with the guys on a regular basis, your husband will appreciate it and enjoy the time he spends with you and your family more.
2. Limit contact. If you are separated from your husband, keep your contact with him to a minimum. This is important because it will give him a chance to work through his feelings of the separation. While your separation has been very upsetting to you, it can be just as upsetting to him. You may be thinking I want my husband back so I need to talk to him and reason with him to pull your marriage together, but constant contact could prove to be more divisive than helpful. By limiting contact, you give both of you the time you need to step back and look at your situation objectively and make positive changes that can bring you together again.
3. Be introspective. Regardless of who is at fault for the problems in your marriage, both of you need to work together to mend your relationship. Be objective and take a look at your faults. Think about what you can do or changes you can make that can bring you together. This can involve being a better listener, nagging less or showing your husband more attention.
4. Set priorities. Your relationship with your husband may have deteriorated due to your work or other commitments outside of your home. Find ways to make time for your husband and show him how important he is to you. It is also important for him to do the same for you. As determined as you may to get your husband back, unless you both work towards a resolution it will not happen.
5. Listen. When he is ready to talk, make sure that you listen to everything he has to say as objectively as possible. Address any questions he has directly and communicate your feelings clearly to him. Have an honest discussion with him and make sure that he feels that he is heard and understood. This is an emotional situation that you are in, however be as calm as possible as getting upset will not be helpful.
You may have tried everything that you can think of to get him back to no avail. Here are some other ideas to consider to help you reach your goal of reconciliation.
1. Give him some space. Some men feel limited in their marriage, like they are boxed in. The more limitations he feels are placed on him may make him distant and emotionally unavailable due to this feeling. By having a little freedom to tinker in the garage, watch sports or hang out with the guys on a regular basis, your husband will appreciate it and enjoy the time he spends with you and your family more.
2. Limit contact. If you are separated from your husband, keep your contact with him to a minimum. This is important because it will give him a chance to work through his feelings of the separation. While your separation has been very upsetting to you, it can be just as upsetting to him. You may be thinking I want my husband back so I need to talk to him and reason with him to pull your marriage together, but constant contact could prove to be more divisive than helpful. By limiting contact, you give both of you the time you need to step back and look at your situation objectively and make positive changes that can bring you together again.
3. Be introspective. Regardless of who is at fault for the problems in your marriage, both of you need to work together to mend your relationship. Be objective and take a look at your faults. Think about what you can do or changes you can make that can bring you together. This can involve being a better listener, nagging less or showing your husband more attention.
4. Set priorities. Your relationship with your husband may have deteriorated due to your work or other commitments outside of your home. Find ways to make time for your husband and show him how important he is to you. It is also important for him to do the same for you. As determined as you may to get your husband back, unless you both work towards a resolution it will not happen.
5. Listen. When he is ready to talk, make sure that you listen to everything he has to say as objectively as possible. Address any questions he has directly and communicate your feelings clearly to him. Have an honest discussion with him and make sure that he feels that he is heard and understood. This is an emotional situation that you are in, however be as calm as possible as getting upset will not be helpful.
Dont Want Divorce Dont Consider It
No one goes into their marriage wanting to fail. Many couples dont want divorce because they believe that it equals failure. New facts and figures now state that if divorce is not considered when problems arise in a marriage that couples can resolve their issues and have a stronger marriage.
If you are having problems and are considering divorce, make sure to try to find alternatives that promote fixing the problems via open and truthful communication or marriage counseling. This is preferable over the pain and effort involved in divorcing your spouse.
When others hear that you are having marriage trouble, many couples get unsolicited advice from friends and coworkers that they really dont want. Divorce to others can be seen as a quick fix when in truth it can simply add to your problems rather than fixing them. While you appreciate the support and advice offered by your friends, keep in mind that this is your marriage, not theirs.
By looking at statistics, 80 percent of surveyed couples who at one time considered divorce and subsequently decided not to go through with it claimed to be happily married years later. This can be explained by two possible outcomes. The first is that the couples who previously were considering divorce decided to deal with their problems directly. In doing so, it not only acknowledged their problems but it may have resulted in their finding effective solutions that saved their marriage.
The second is that when divorce was considered that it can change the entire dynamic of a relationship. For some couples this could be a positive thing or it could be detrimental to others. If a problem develops, those considering a divorce could see this as a way out without ever dealing with the issue directly. If these problems grow or the issues faced become more divisive, the option of divorce can be seen as an easy out and therefore become very appealing.
However, those who did not consider a divorce may find some success. They are forced to deal with their problems, and possibly find a constructive solution and common ground. Although this can be hard work and is not as easy as a divorce appears to be in fixing problems, working together and facing issues can be much more rewarding.
Marriage is a team of two players. When both players are actively working towards solutions to their problems and remove divorce as an option, resolutions can be found for their differences. This will strengthen their marriage as you will be working towards something better rather than looking for a way to cut your losses and run.
If you remove divorce as an option and resolve to work through your differences, you can make your marriage work. It will give you the motivation to work to improve your relationship through understanding and communication. By listening to each other and finding ways to compromise that benefit the both of you; you can build a marriage that will last for years to come.
If you are having problems and are considering divorce, make sure to try to find alternatives that promote fixing the problems via open and truthful communication or marriage counseling. This is preferable over the pain and effort involved in divorcing your spouse.
When others hear that you are having marriage trouble, many couples get unsolicited advice from friends and coworkers that they really dont want. Divorce to others can be seen as a quick fix when in truth it can simply add to your problems rather than fixing them. While you appreciate the support and advice offered by your friends, keep in mind that this is your marriage, not theirs.
By looking at statistics, 80 percent of surveyed couples who at one time considered divorce and subsequently decided not to go through with it claimed to be happily married years later. This can be explained by two possible outcomes. The first is that the couples who previously were considering divorce decided to deal with their problems directly. In doing so, it not only acknowledged their problems but it may have resulted in their finding effective solutions that saved their marriage.
The second is that when divorce was considered that it can change the entire dynamic of a relationship. For some couples this could be a positive thing or it could be detrimental to others. If a problem develops, those considering a divorce could see this as a way out without ever dealing with the issue directly. If these problems grow or the issues faced become more divisive, the option of divorce can be seen as an easy out and therefore become very appealing.
However, those who did not consider a divorce may find some success. They are forced to deal with their problems, and possibly find a constructive solution and common ground. Although this can be hard work and is not as easy as a divorce appears to be in fixing problems, working together and facing issues can be much more rewarding.
Marriage is a team of two players. When both players are actively working towards solutions to their problems and remove divorce as an option, resolutions can be found for their differences. This will strengthen their marriage as you will be working towards something better rather than looking for a way to cut your losses and run.
If you remove divorce as an option and resolve to work through your differences, you can make your marriage work. It will give you the motivation to work to improve your relationship through understanding and communication. By listening to each other and finding ways to compromise that benefit the both of you; you can build a marriage that will last for years to come.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Can Marriage Counseling Save A Marriage In Crisis
Every marriage goes through ups and downs. A number of marriages also go through times of severe turmoil, such as deaths in the family, chronic illnesses, unfaithfulness, or national disasters. Some marriages hold strong during any ups and downs; others begin to crumble. For any marriage in crisis, however, marital counseling can help.
Each couple’s marriage is, of course, unique. Therefore, the way in which that couple deals with problems and issues will be unique. However, there are several signs which are common to all marriages--signs which point toward trouble brewing in the relationship. The earlier a couple begins to recognize the signs, the earlier the couple can begin marriage counseling. And, the sooner the couple starts counseling, the better the couple’s chances of saving their marriage.
Here are the common warning signs of a marriage that is likely headed toward crisis:
• The couple bickers, nags, and nitpicks a great deal.
• The couple doesn’t fight fairly.
• The couple tends to spend a good deal of time apart, doing activities separately because that is more fun than spending time together.
• The couple doesn’t talk about problems together. One member of the couple may be unaware of household issues or problems with the children that the other couple member handles, for instance.
• The couple no longer agrees on long-term goals and values, either for themselves or for the family as a whole.
• The couple has a low level of intimacy--or none.
• The couple doesn’t talk much. The two members of the couple may be unaware of significant events or happenings at each other’s workplaces, for example.
Marriage counseling can help couples who are having any of the above issues. Counseling can also assist couples who are in crisis for other reasons. There is no reason for a couple to stay in an unhappy marriage; yet people who head straight for separation or divorce without trying to first make the marriage work through the use of marital counseling may be throwing in the towel without giving their marriage a fair chance.
Professional marriage counselors have experience in working with couples who have gone through all types of difficulties. Counselors can assist couples in dealing with infidelity, spending issues, problems with family and children, differences in faith, and much more.
Couples who attend marriage counseling learn the following:
• How to resolve conflict through effective listening
• How to state needs clearly and openly without anger or resentment
• How to get what is needed in the relationship without making demands
• How to work through unresolved issues in the marriage
• How to understand the needs of both members of the couple--and how to meet those needs
Marriage counseling works best if couples go as soon as they begin having problems in their marriage. A marriage in crisis can be helped with marital counseling; however, if a couple waits too long to seek counseling, their chances of saving their marriage may not be as great.
Each couple’s marriage is, of course, unique. Therefore, the way in which that couple deals with problems and issues will be unique. However, there are several signs which are common to all marriages--signs which point toward trouble brewing in the relationship. The earlier a couple begins to recognize the signs, the earlier the couple can begin marriage counseling. And, the sooner the couple starts counseling, the better the couple’s chances of saving their marriage.
Here are the common warning signs of a marriage that is likely headed toward crisis:
• The couple bickers, nags, and nitpicks a great deal.
• The couple doesn’t fight fairly.
• The couple tends to spend a good deal of time apart, doing activities separately because that is more fun than spending time together.
• The couple doesn’t talk about problems together. One member of the couple may be unaware of household issues or problems with the children that the other couple member handles, for instance.
• The couple no longer agrees on long-term goals and values, either for themselves or for the family as a whole.
• The couple has a low level of intimacy--or none.
• The couple doesn’t talk much. The two members of the couple may be unaware of significant events or happenings at each other’s workplaces, for example.
Marriage counseling can help couples who are having any of the above issues. Counseling can also assist couples who are in crisis for other reasons. There is no reason for a couple to stay in an unhappy marriage; yet people who head straight for separation or divorce without trying to first make the marriage work through the use of marital counseling may be throwing in the towel without giving their marriage a fair chance.
Professional marriage counselors have experience in working with couples who have gone through all types of difficulties. Counselors can assist couples in dealing with infidelity, spending issues, problems with family and children, differences in faith, and much more.
Couples who attend marriage counseling learn the following:
• How to resolve conflict through effective listening
• How to state needs clearly and openly without anger or resentment
• How to get what is needed in the relationship without making demands
• How to work through unresolved issues in the marriage
• How to understand the needs of both members of the couple--and how to meet those needs
Marriage counseling works best if couples go as soon as they begin having problems in their marriage. A marriage in crisis can be helped with marital counseling; however, if a couple waits too long to seek counseling, their chances of saving their marriage may not be as great.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
She Broke My Heart
It is a normal part of life to experience both joy and sorrow. Everyone in the entire world experiences both at times. This is likely of little consolation to you if you are currently feeling the heartbreak of an ended relationship, however. It is quite difficult to make the transition from dreaming of spending your life with someone forever to knowing that your dream was not meant to be. If she broke your heart, you may be feeling as if your life is falling apart.
Feeling broken-hearted can seem rather confusing to some--there is a lot of pain and hurt feelings, of course, but there is also a sense of grief and loss that is not unlike that which is experienced when a death occurs. This happens because when your heart is broken, you feel as if you have lost a large part of your life as well as a part of yourself; therefore, it is only natural to grieve for the loss.
The depth of your feelings from your heartbreak will depend upon the depth of your relationship and the strength of the feelings you had for your girlfriend at the time of the break-up. For the first few weeks after the break-up, you may feel as if your heart has fallen out and will never return. You may also feel as if the heartbreak will never end. All of this is perfectly natural, both for men and for women who experience heartbreak.
It may take several weeks or a few months for you to begin to feel a bit more normal--and even then, you may relapse into the depths of despair once again. It may be difficult for those around you to truly understand how you are feeling and how deeply you are hurting because every broken heart is different. When a woman breaks your heart, it may leave deep scars on your heart that remain there forever.
You may feel physical and psychological symptoms of your broken heart throughout your recovery period. It is not unusual to experience some of the following symptoms:
• Stomach aches or loss of appetite
• Difficulty sleeping
• Loss of self-respect or self-esteem
• Nausea
• Extreme fatigue
• Tightness of the chest, similar to an anxiety attack
• Feelings of hopelessness
Most of these symptoms tend to be mild and of short duration; however, anyone experiencing long-term or more severe suffering should certainly visit a doctor.
Even though she broke your heart, you will recover and you will even learn to love again. It may not seem possible now because you are grieving your loss and need to come to terms with how your life will be without your ex; however, trust that as time marches on, you will heal. Just as your body heals from physical injuries, your mind and soul will heal from psychological suffering. As each day passes by, your hurt will ease, little by little. Soon your heartbreak will be a memory of the past.
Feeling broken-hearted can seem rather confusing to some--there is a lot of pain and hurt feelings, of course, but there is also a sense of grief and loss that is not unlike that which is experienced when a death occurs. This happens because when your heart is broken, you feel as if you have lost a large part of your life as well as a part of yourself; therefore, it is only natural to grieve for the loss.
The depth of your feelings from your heartbreak will depend upon the depth of your relationship and the strength of the feelings you had for your girlfriend at the time of the break-up. For the first few weeks after the break-up, you may feel as if your heart has fallen out and will never return. You may also feel as if the heartbreak will never end. All of this is perfectly natural, both for men and for women who experience heartbreak.
It may take several weeks or a few months for you to begin to feel a bit more normal--and even then, you may relapse into the depths of despair once again. It may be difficult for those around you to truly understand how you are feeling and how deeply you are hurting because every broken heart is different. When a woman breaks your heart, it may leave deep scars on your heart that remain there forever.
You may feel physical and psychological symptoms of your broken heart throughout your recovery period. It is not unusual to experience some of the following symptoms:
• Stomach aches or loss of appetite
• Difficulty sleeping
• Loss of self-respect or self-esteem
• Nausea
• Extreme fatigue
• Tightness of the chest, similar to an anxiety attack
• Feelings of hopelessness
Most of these symptoms tend to be mild and of short duration; however, anyone experiencing long-term or more severe suffering should certainly visit a doctor.
Even though she broke your heart, you will recover and you will even learn to love again. It may not seem possible now because you are grieving your loss and need to come to terms with how your life will be without your ex; however, trust that as time marches on, you will heal. Just as your body heals from physical injuries, your mind and soul will heal from psychological suffering. As each day passes by, your hurt will ease, little by little. Soon your heartbreak will be a memory of the past.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
7 Effective Tips To Help Save Marriage
Statistically speaking, nearly sixty percent of marriages fail. Many couples are looking into ways to avoid becoming that statistic. Although some marriages cannot be fixed, many can. It takes dedication and determination on the part of both the husband and the wife to help save their marriage, regardless of what the underlying problems are or who is at fault.
The following are some effective tips to help save marriage. However, for these to work, both the husband and wife must be committed to following these guidelines and work together to solve their differences.
1. Communicate. This is absolutely essential for making a marriage work and last. You both must clearly state how you feel, your opinions, your wants and needs to each other. By discovering what each of you feel is wrong in your marriage, you can work towards a solution.
2. Keep calm. When you are having problems in your marriage it is easy to get upset. Try to approach your problems with a level head and voice. Being hurtful or disrespectful to your spouse will not help the situation.
3. Compromise. It takes two in a marriage, so both of your views must be respected. If you give a little, you may get a lot and be happier.
4. Set goals. Goals give you direction. Make sure to set goals in your marriage that reflect both of your views and determine what you both need to do to get there.
5. Be patient. It takes time to work on problems in a marriage. Make sure that you are patient with your spouse as well as with yourself as you work towards fixing problems. Rushing to fix things can have an adverse effect.
6. Forgive and forget. Depending on your situation, this can be difficult, especially if your partner was unfaithful. If you want to save your marriage in spite of their infidelity, you will have to try and forgive them so that you can work together to preserve your marriage. Forgetting about what they have done may not be easy either. If you want to move on, it is essential that you are not dwelling on the past. Focus on the here and now and what you can both can do today to make your marriage better.
7. Get counseling. If you cannot work out your differences, counseling can help. A good counselor can help you with guidance, support, encouragement and give you unbiased views that can give you insight on how to correct the problems in your marriage. They can help you find the right solutions and methods based on what is best for you as a couple for the problems that are being faced.
It is very important that you both agree to counseling and intend to take an active role in your sessions for counseling to be an effective tool for help in your marriage. When choosing a counselor, make sure that they are licensed professionals and that you feel comfortable working with them.
The following are some effective tips to help save marriage. However, for these to work, both the husband and wife must be committed to following these guidelines and work together to solve their differences.
1. Communicate. This is absolutely essential for making a marriage work and last. You both must clearly state how you feel, your opinions, your wants and needs to each other. By discovering what each of you feel is wrong in your marriage, you can work towards a solution.
2. Keep calm. When you are having problems in your marriage it is easy to get upset. Try to approach your problems with a level head and voice. Being hurtful or disrespectful to your spouse will not help the situation.
3. Compromise. It takes two in a marriage, so both of your views must be respected. If you give a little, you may get a lot and be happier.
4. Set goals. Goals give you direction. Make sure to set goals in your marriage that reflect both of your views and determine what you both need to do to get there.
5. Be patient. It takes time to work on problems in a marriage. Make sure that you are patient with your spouse as well as with yourself as you work towards fixing problems. Rushing to fix things can have an adverse effect.
6. Forgive and forget. Depending on your situation, this can be difficult, especially if your partner was unfaithful. If you want to save your marriage in spite of their infidelity, you will have to try and forgive them so that you can work together to preserve your marriage. Forgetting about what they have done may not be easy either. If you want to move on, it is essential that you are not dwelling on the past. Focus on the here and now and what you can both can do today to make your marriage better.
7. Get counseling. If you cannot work out your differences, counseling can help. A good counselor can help you with guidance, support, encouragement and give you unbiased views that can give you insight on how to correct the problems in your marriage. They can help you find the right solutions and methods based on what is best for you as a couple for the problems that are being faced.
It is very important that you both agree to counseling and intend to take an active role in your sessions for counseling to be an effective tool for help in your marriage. When choosing a counselor, make sure that they are licensed professionals and that you feel comfortable working with them.
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